Thanks to Ipsy, Essence Cosmetics and Her Campus I got the chance to attend Generation Beauty in Downtown LA!

I was tempted to take the pink carpet home with me.

What it is:
A beauty trade show / convention hosted by Ipsy.

Who will be there:
The brands you see in your Ipsy bags! Some makeup youtubers wander around too.

What you do:
Basically, you just walk around and get free makeup. You'll also take photos, get makeovers, etc.

Some of the goodies!
What was nice is everyone's lanyard came with a "beauty passport" inside. The passport had a map, and then little tickets for every brand alongside the edge of the paper that you could rip off. So each and every attendee got the chance to get goodies from all of the booths in a fast manner. The brands and the attendees could easily keep track of their progress, too. If you've ever been to a trade show, you know how important it is to keep track of what the attendees are getting! I've seen people at book trade shows walk away with more than they should've been taking which is not beneficial to the brand at all.

Overall thoughts:
If anything, it was inspiring to be around so much makeup. It's usually hard for me to be around so much materialism because I get so spiritually overwhelmed, but it was so refreshing seeing so much makeup on fleek.

Like, you know when you go out in public and you see maybe one or two girls with perfect makeup and you think, "DAMNNNN, look at that highlight though!" All 3,000 of the attendees are always slaying. I saw so much makeup inspiration within just a few hours.

After I got my lashes done with Ardell.
I think next year they should hold it in a bit of a bigger hall so they can have more room for panels, photo-ops, a charging phone / chilling center, food trucks, etc. And almost all of the lines kept closing because there wasn't enough room for people to wait around. I didn't really like how everything was all in one room. But that's really the only complaint I have!

So, is it worth the price?
I think so, knowing how much some of you spend on makeup. The majority of makeup junkies will spend $100 on one makeup haul featuring only a few items. But at Generation Beauty? You get a gift bag for each day, FILLED with amazing goodies worth $300+. Not only that, but you get even more goodies when you go to the booths. I got everything: highlighter, dry shampoo, blush, bronzer, mascara, eyeliner, brushes, lip gloss, and so much more. You'll without a doubt go home satisfied.

The cutest booth - Essence Makeup!

A Poet for Every Mood

Cute Fonts
i'm having an existential crisis and there's nothing you can do about it.

the crippling yet comforting sadness you feel in november, wrapping around you like a blanket.

i am shamelessly and brutually honest and so is life.

i may not use capitalization but i can make you feel all the feels.

the sudden feeling you get on an april morning where you have an appreciation for all things.

i need some time alone, i can't rely on you anymore.

my soul is longing for much more than just this provincial life.

i am womyn, hear me roar.

fuck this capitalistic hetero-centric society.

the type of smitten you feel while experiencing an euphoric, other-worldly love.

thorough life, love and death, i will prevail.

Cute Fonts

8 Ways to Eat Avocado Toast

I remember when I was first introduced to avocado. I thought it was weird. I mean it's all green and creamy, what the hell? Then I had my first taste of spicy guacamole on a tortilla chip and my life has never been the same since. I probably eat avocado at least a couple of times a day. 
Avocado toast is a Godsend. Carbs + avocado + all the fixings you want = deliciousness. And wait, hold up. IT'S ACTUALLY HEALTHY? I have been beyond obsessed with avo toast for years and it's never too late to hop on the bandwagon. Whether you're new to the world of avocado, or if you're just looking for a way to spice up your toast... you've come to the right place.

1. Beginners Avocado Toast

If you are new to the avocado toast world. this is a perfect starter. Mashed avocado with a little bit of lime, chili pepper, crushed red pepper and chia seeds. Most beginners start off with avocado just on toast, but what's the fun in that?
2. Mediterranean Hummus Avocado Toast

sourceHummus, cucumbers, and avocado. Add a little bit of olive oil and feta cheese if you desire and you have a greek delicacy! The avocado offsets the flavors perfectly.
3. Mexican Grilled Corn Avocado Toast

Look at this photo and tell me it isn't the most beautiful thing you've ever seen. That grilled corn is making my mouth water already.

4. Bacon Avocado Toast

Don't think of it as adding bad fat to your toast, think of it as adding good fat to your bacon.
5. Sweet Tooth Avocado Toast

Featuring pomegranate seeds, strawberries, feta and balsamic. 

6. Cheesy Avo Toast, Basically AVO PIZZA

The cheese is an instant upgrade to your normal bland toast, but if you add a little bit of crushed red pepper and Italian seasoning, it tastes like pizza. You heard me: PIZZA.

7. Salsa + Tortilla Chips Avocado Toast

If this doesn't scream 'college,' then I don't know what does. You can sub the tortilla chips for whatever you have around...I recommend hot cheetos.

8. Avocado Toast with Spiced Skillet Chickpeas

If you're a fan of chickpeas and protein - you will be a fan of this. A little bit of buffalo sauce won't hurt, either!

Cough Drops and Foxes

i may be looking down,
but i know i'm with you.

you got me kombucha
and sushi
and an orange mango smoothie.
that's when i knew we were back in the game.

i'll split my screen with you if you keep your eye on the prize.
i'll even let you sleep on the grey pillow, too.

i'll buy you honey bear lattes from that place on willow street,
reminiscent of your old sea green living room,
where our ghosts used to meet.

these shades of brown, grey, and dingy white may puncture my mood
and these superficial energies may dim my lights.

but together?

it's like driving through the cities of our past in the middle of the night.
drowsily mumbling,
filled with gas station food,
the static hum of 105.9 playing in the background,
knowing we don't have to set an alarm for the next morning.

that's what it feels like.
cheap plaster and chipped paint and stained carpets and shitty people may destroy me.

yet no matter how hard they try,
they can't touch us.

♡ LIFE UPDATE: January 2016 ♡

Hey all! 
Maria here.
I'm going to give you a brief update about what's been going on, because I always feel super guilty when I neglect my blog even if it's only for a week. Letzzzz go!

W R I T I N G 
For the past few months, I've been writing for these sites:
♡ Vanessa Hudgens' site ASTRAL & OPAL. This is the site I write for the most. From social media cleanses, to why you should learn a new language, to a beginners guide to being vegan, to the shiniest highlighters. You can find me writing about all that stuff here.

♡ Kingsleys' site King of Culture. I write here often too, mostly about pop culture. From why Tinashe is literally the queen, to Grammy snubs, to a list of all the Taylor Swift songs not about's all there.

♡ Ashley Bensons' site XOBENZO. This is mostly fashion posts. Pastel hair, matte nails, girl power playlists, all of that. 

♡ Laila Alis' site Laila Ali Lifestyle. I don't write for her site that often but occasionally I'll pop out of nowhere to talk about BPA free water bottles and how to get rid of a headache naturally.

And of course, the occasional Hello Giggles, Thought Catalog, Local Wolves, etc.

That's where a lot of my time is going, which is why my posts on Pink Chanel Suit or more for myself, for fun, or whatever else.

♡ As many of you know, I was working at Disneyland since I moved to California. Well, hate to break it to you, but I just left! Although I have major respect for the company and want to collaborate with Disney in the future, it simply wasn't working out anymore. The commute via bus was pretty long and they weren't accommodating to my schedule at all. With the way I was scheduled, I felt like Disneyland was my life. Ugh, I mean I was there every single day and had no time for anything else. I sort of felt like a corporate slave and if you know anything about me, that's NOT something I'll ever put up with again. So I left. Since then, I feel freedom. If you have any more questions regarding employment with the Disney company or whatever else though, feel free to send me an email!

♡ Last week I attended the Never Shout Never / Metro Station concert at the House of Blues Anaheim, which was dope to say the least. I really was a diehard fan of both bands since middle school and to finally see them was a dream.

This video was amazing quality on my phone but turned to this. Eh, it'll do.


I'm going to dedicate an entire selection to food because I FUCKING LOVE FOOD! Being a vegetarian in California is soooooo perfect. Here are some vegan nomz I've been eating.

Samosa and thai temple bowl at Ahimsa Vegan Cafe. Downtown Long Beach vibezzz.

Steaz green tea (literally the best) with veggie sushi at Gelsons. Ate on a rooftop that made me feel like I was in a Kardashians episode.

Vegan buffalo wing salad at Veggie Grill. Their buffalo 'wings' are to die for. *insert crying emoji here*

R E A L I Z A T I O N S 

I spent so much of my life being by myself. Soul-searching, trying to figure out who I was. But now I realize I'm learning more about myself being surrounded by people. You see yourself in others, and sometimes, you're so different from someone you couldn't see yourself in them even if you tried.

I'm trying to expand my horizons a bit more, whatever that means. I guess I let fear take over my life a lot. I've been craving an entire REVAMP of my life. Everything new. And this time, everything right. I want to express myself through different mediums and use my time more wisely. Do things without thinking. 

O B S E S S I O N S 
  • Sunbathing with clothes on so I can feel the warmth and positive energy without aging, getting burnt, and getting cancer.
  • Female R&B.
  • Black cats with white tummies, which is odd, because I'm allergic.
  • Lavender hair...I've been wanting to dye my hair lavender but I'm iffy because damage. Sigh.
  • Vegan fast food.
  • MAKING A MURDERER. Like, don't even mention this to me unless you want to talk to me for 5 hours.
  • There's Nothing to Be Sorry About by Lana Del Rey. I love the pure innocence and good intentions in the song. 
  • Honda Accords.
  • Champagne, especially when it's free.
  • The Cyrus Family. GOD BLESS Y'ALLLLLL
  • Playing my pink ukulele badly.
  • Associating certain poets with certain moods. (I should make a post about that)
  • Messy buns that I'm actually getting good at and pulling off. Yayyyy!
  • The color mustard.
  • Having people put me in a box constantly and then me proving them wrong by being a badass.
That's good for a life update, right?


i often think about what bukowski said about the old dogs
fighting so well in tiny rooms.
crazy as ever
hitting their typewriters hard
without women or food or hope.

and i remember what started it all for me.
i wanted to burn everything -
every bridge that would bring me back to what i use to know.

i can't swim or drive or fly,
so please don't ask me to.

i can't get to you now.

while you're investing in stock,
i'm investing in fear.

i don't live well
but i live fine.

mornings are always erratic -
the mattress is on the floor and the coffee is cheap.

i don't care much for anything else.

how many tiny rooms will i sleep in?
how many tiny rooms will i write in?
how many hypothetical conversations,
existential conversations,
can i have before i'm taken seriously?
until i can feel the thrill of being alive?

i don't care much for anything else
but feeling somewhat alive
even half-alive would do.

i always crave what i can't have.
come and find me.

i went out of my way to taste you.

i never expected you to follow me around.
now i realize it was wishful thinking to even expect us to run into each other.

you saw me as i was,
and i saw you, too.

the skies were aurulent and honey-like.
i could appreciate it but i could never relate to it,
because i was born from lava -
bitter and astringent.

so i spent all this time retracing my steps,
trying to convince everyone i was coated with sugar,
reminiscent of cotton candy clouds and heaven -
and they believed me.

i fooled myself, too.
but their tastebuds couldn't lie.

i was never sweet,
i was conglomerate.
i was nothing but the acidic coffee they couldn't drink black.
i was for their consumption -
i didn't exist for anything else but their mindless consumption.

so there i was,
getting stirred and tainted until i tasted right.

all i ask of you is:
don't follow me around, don't drink me dry.
just let my trimethylxanthine flow through your mind.

Dear Alan Rickman {r.i.p.}

How do I even write an introduction to this article? Some cheesy paragraph about Alan Rickmans' achievements and how he was such a magnificent man and actor? Sure. But I am not worthy. I am not good enough. No one is. There is not a good enough tribute that could honor Alan Rickman and his inconceivable talent.

But Alan Rickman is beyond anything I could ever put into words. He was truly other-wordly, ethereal even - he was a professor to the world of young artists. A teacher to the ignorant and the unknowing.

He was our Snape. I don't want to put a label on this man and act like Snape was the only thing he's ever done, because most of the Harry Potter alumni hate that. But he was our one and only Snape. No one was Snape but him.

And to a lot of us...Severus held a special place in our hearts.

For me, it started when I was the mere age of 5. I went to the theaters with my mother to see Sorcerers Stone and this black-haired, cloaked guy caught my eye. My little self was so captivated by his compelling voice and his spellbinding crooked smile.

And because of this, I read Sorcerers Stone. I rushed to the library so I could open the book up to the page where he was introduced. And I read it, over and over again. My love for literature skyrocketed from there and then all of the sudden I was a writer. (and a die-hard Harry Potter fan, but everyone already knows that about me)

Because of Severus, my heart skips a beat for the tragic heroes. The more complex characters. The ones who you still can actively debate about. The Snapes, the Heathcliffs, the Holdens. Maybe in a sense I related to them, but I also admired their depth. Their intense love, their intense hate, their emotions. Nothing was chill about them. It was just them and a lot of literary critics will argue mental illness or obsession but for me, I just saw COMPLEX human beings that didn't need to be figured out or validated by the readers. That absolutely changed the game of literature for me and made all my english classes profoundly interesting.

So Alan Rickman, in a sense, is the one of the core reasons my love for literature and writing exists. But he also helped me grow as an actress, a lover, a poet, a friend, and a human.

When I was in acting school, I low key ignored the professors techniques and listened to what Alan Rickman was saying in interviews and such. If you don't know this already, J.K. Rowling shared with Rickman Snapes' fate, the entire story, the ending of Deathly Hallows, etc. And Rickman used this motivation for his character. If you rewatch all 8 films, you will see him portray Snape and add in little mannerisms and quirks that JUST MAKE SENSE.

Before I would go on to do a scene, I would think, "Okay. What is my characters fate? What is their true motivation that only I know at this point? What can I do to make this as deep as humanly possible?"

I grew so much as an actress. I owe that to a lot of people, but Mr Rickman put that in perspective for me.

To this day I can't help but shamelessly grin when I hear his sultry, iconic voice. I still have recordings of him reciting poetry (specifically Shakespearean sonnets) on my phone. 14 lines of beauty delivered flawlessly each and every time, helping me drift off to sleep.

I still carry my Snape keychain everywhere and I still will physically fight anyone who downplays Alan. I mean, why was it that a girl so young and naive was captivated by ALAN RICKMAN? I remember drawing pictures of him all throughout elementary school on my notebooks. He in a sense, was my first love, my artistic muse, and so much more.

A few months back I was invited to a lecture in New York that he was speaking at. But I thought, "I don't feel like making the trip, can't really afford it. I can just meet him some other time!" If only I knew that that was my only chance. I never met him and got to have our 5-hour conversation over tea and scones, but hey, he did enough for me in my life. And somehow, I think he knows. He just does.

 I was made fun of a lot growing up for loving Alan Rickman as a person and Severus Snape as a character (or person, in my words), but today, that doesn't matter. I see the impact this man has made on the world and I see the world weeping for him.

Today, I am proud. I am proud that I stood for this man my entire life without backing down once. I am ecstatic I got to exist the same time he did. And I'm happy I let him touch my life the way he did.

I pray for everyone close to Alan. The world lost something that feels so necessary. It's like we are loosing fire or ice, earth or air, water or sky. It was awfully gloomy today as I was walking into work and I looked up and just felt him. I felt like for those two minutes, I was in the wizarding world and he was there too. My patronus may be a squirrel...but today, it's a doe.

So, thank you Alan Rickman. Thank you. Say hi to Bowie for us, too. As Dumbledore once gracefully said, "To the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure."

The Sacredness of Writing

W O R D S.

One single word can hold more power than an entire paragraph. We have the intelligence and the creativity to put those words together and to communicate how we choose. That freedom and that creative outlet is enough for me.

I have the keys and the ink to put my words into the history of (wo)mankind. And I promise to be nothing but honest to the world, to history, to the ones reading, and to myself. Integrity is all I need.

WORDS are an art form, not just a way to communicate. Recently I've been interested in communicating in other languages and learning other words in spanish, french, italian, japanese.

Learning words in other languages is like seeing colors that never existed before. The english language, while vastly magnificent, can be quite limiting. How many times have you heard someone say, "I just can't find the word for what I'm feeling. I just can't explain it." As a writer, an artist, and a communicator, I find it rather beneficial to learn these words.

If you rummage through the archive of my blog, my social media, my journals, my publications, or whatever else, you may find writing and confessions that aren't of quality. Well, actually, I can probably guarantee that. You will find me blabber on about philosophies I don't agree with anymore and talk about films or music I've changed my mind about. Then again, I started writing before I even was in the double digits so of course that's bound to happen.

But I don't erase it, or alter it, because that's apart of HISTORY and apart of GROWTH. As a writer, I've written things that aren't worthy of greatness and that I may even cringe at now. But erasing it would only show weakness.

The best part of watching someone express themselves through an art form their entire life is the change and the growth. You get to experience their life with them and emphasize with them. That's a pretty beautiful thing. However, if you are altering your life for an image or to look cute on social media, that's not beautiful or real. That's not history.

I am talking about the sacredness of writing because there's a fine line between imagery and artistry that too many people seem to cross nowadays.

In order to be honest to yourself, your readers, your fan base, and history - you have to write about what you know. With technology and modern media, people are writing about what they want to know or what makes them look more interesting.

Why write lyrics about cigarettes, depression and casual sex if you're a unexperienced, rich, privileged teenager from Connecticut?

Why write poetry about broken relationships when you're currently in a happy relationship? Why do I feel like I keep reading the same poem over and over again? "We were beautiful strangers / with pale skin / something about cigarettes / something about pale skin again / the white sheets / a shitty simile / I spend too much time on tumblr." (end scene)

Why write about lifestyles you haven't experienced?

Why write about other cultures you don't know? Fashion you don't wear? People you haven't met? Religions you don't practice? And all for your own benefit? (Ahem, that is cultural appropriation.)

Why use phrases that have already been used? Why steal aesthetics and identities from 'role models?'

Why write your opinions about celebrities and politicians if you aren't doing your job as a journalist and knowing the full story and background?

Why do I keep reading / watching interviews where the journalist asks basic almost insulting questions? No one is digging deep enough. No one is honest enough.

Why write about something just to write about it? That isn't benefiting you, it's not benefiting the ones reading.

I am all about freedom for writers but I cannot stand the lack of authenticity I see in the game sometimes. To carefully craft your image is to put yourself in a box that you built for yourself. Write whatever the fuck comes out and let the world put you in a box and see you how they want. Because at least then, you're not in your own personal prison. They can't control you.

One of my all time favorite quotes is by Henry David Thoreau, AKA transcendentalist icon. He states, "How vain it is to sit down to write when you have not stood up to live." Do not try to inspire others with dishonesty, do not try to intrigue others with lies. Do not write for image, write for art.

Lost at Sea

I'm so detached from humanity in the most peculiar way.

The past few weeks I've had no desire for human contact. Like, I don't wanna be looked at. I don't wanna be touched or noticed or heard. For once in my life, I want to be silenced and ignored. I just want to be in a corner: the metaphorical corner every room seems to have.

Maybe it's because I'm hibernating for winter or I'm in one of my weird moods/stages, but maybe this means something.

In a sense, this has always been in my nature. Always to myself and liking it that way. Sometimes I just feel like another species, though. It's so hard to explain.

I don't find myself having the other desires and hungers many humans on this earth desire and are hungry for. I don't feel worse or better about it.

The connections I have with most humans are very rarely face-to-face. Sometimes words aren't even included in the connection. And they certainly aren't long-lived. They are very spiritual and very unspoken. I know it exists mostly from feelings and observations. Sometimes dreams and intuition. Sometimes something a friend-of-a-friend told me. Sometimes straight up virtual lurking.

But I do see those connections and I prefer my connections to be made as such, because they feel more magical and less real.

I remember one time when I was no older than 6, I was lying in my bed at night. I had my favorite books, a bag of goldfish, and Grumpy Bear with me. I recall visualizing my bed as a boat lost at sea and me having nothing but my favorite books, Grumpy Bear and an unlimited supply of Goldfish.

Funny thing is...I remember thinking, "That is all I need. I'm fine with that. Hell, that's even what I want."

Then going to public school kind of changed my life. Let me phrase it this way: having to go out in the world and dealing with humans changed my life. It only got worse as I got older because the interactions only became more real. At least the first few years of elementary school I could still play house and shit.

Years and years later, people still hit me with small talk and their shitty jokes and their screams for approval and I still do that same fake ass, straight-faced chuckle I did in elementary school.

I think it's okay to feel this way though. I can count the people I've really connected with over the years off the top of my head but I am actually quite glad about that. I've had so much time to focus on myself and art and nature and the actual people I love.

I get so turned off my things like animalistic tendencies, superficial lifestyles, family values, fetishized culture.

I exist on a different frequency. I sing on my own key. I find comfort in different things, and I am hungry for other things.

Growing up, it was always, "everybody but me," in a sadistic, lonesome tone. But now, I leave you with this song. X