No Rules, Just Words.

I see the day coming.

Where sunsets are more important than a time clock.

Where I can speak the tongues of eternity and the song of myself,
instead of dialogue from a grey suit to a mindless herd.

Where the only costume I wear is of consent,
not force.

When ethereal realms exist instead of cardboard boxes and concrete walls and metal buttons.

I know the day is near, and I am so beyond stressed. Filled with anxiety of "what ifs." But I know I am not an island. If anything I am a plateau, connected but distant. My generation is filled with this because we are trying to break free from the chains left for us. Some of us, anyways.

I wasn't filled with so much symbolic emotional dazzling sensuality to just stare at walls and soulless eyes, that I know for sure.

I know so much for sure.

I'm not wearing a leather jacket. I am not outspoken, perhaps I'm even a little too shy. You won't find me smoking cigarettes or walking in the dark. I wasn't meant to break the rules. I wasn't meant to have rules to start with.

Sometimes, I'll avoid a systematic obligation or I'll break a rule out of lack of comfort and people will say, "Hm. That doesn't seem like Maria."

But they do not know me, they only know a devastatingly sad girl who is enslaved by the world many of you happily live in.

I am not looking to break rules.
I am looking not to have rules.

Because I am not a machine and I do not come with a program manual.

And so it goes.

The day is so near.

I can be a woman again. I can be Maria Elena again. I can be...well, me again.