conversations with me, myself & God

when i was a little girl,
no older than three,
i would teleport to another dimension in my sleep.

i would go out of my body
and fly around the house
sneaking through wooden panels,
quiet as a mouse.

one night i talked to God,
and as he smiled at me,
i told him "i don't like it when my mommy and daddy tell me what to do, i want to be free."

before he could reply,
i went on a spiel:
"you listen to me, you listen to me good.
no teacher's gonna tell me how to look and no priest is gonna tell me how to feel.
i want to read harry potter and i want to stay up late.
i want to drink 8 cans of grape soda and eat warm cookies on a mickey mouse shaped plate.
if i ever have a boyfriend, tell him he can't boss me around.
if i ever have a boss, tell them they better back down.
i am the princess of my own castle - the master of my fate!
and although i love you God,
i think i need some space."

three year old me didn't see God as a shining light
or a middle eastern man with a brown beard.

i saw him as king triton
or albus dumbledore
or perhaps a hybrid of them both.

so, this king triton-dumbledore hybrid God smiled and shook his head as he looked down at me.
"little girl - listen to me, you listen to me good.
in my kingdom, you will always be the princess of your own castle.
you can read books with all the witchcraft you want
and no politician or celebrity can tell you what to flaunt.
the man of your dreams is already born,
and he is dancing in his room - free as a bee.
i made sure he likes harry potter, so you'll never disagree.
until you meet, young girl:
make sure of this.
i created men and women equal -
so if a man ever tries to tell you what to do,
know it came from me if he catches the stomach flu.
fiercely independent, i saw that in you from the womb.
anyone that can't see that doesn't deserve to see you bloom.
next time your boss tells you how to behave,
tell them you are a princess - not a slave.

i may have a plan for you and that plan may be great.
but i created you with free will
and the ability to change your fate."

i tried to hug him but as i squeezed tight,
i realized it was my pastel blue teddy bear in my sight.
the next day i went to school,
the boy that was mean to me wasn't there, his name was nick.
little did i know he was out sick!
my teacher told me to count to one hundred,
but i counted to 38 instead.
my mom told me to eat dinner at the table,
but i ate goldfish in my bed.

the conversation we had that night,
i still repeat in my mind.
i now know who i am,
while everyone around me is blind,