A Letter to Everyone and No One

Dear everyone but also no one,

Sometimes at night, I feel so vulnerable. I feel filled with emotions and words that I cannot ever express to you guys. But I will try. This letter goes to anyone who has ever known me. If you are reading my blog right now, you know me in some way, right?

One of my first "selfies," taken in 5th grade. Aw. 
I care about you. I enjoyed our memories together. Yes, even if it was one day. Yes, even if it was five years ago. Perhaps even ten years ago.

 If I ever touched your life or inspired you, that makes me happy. If I hurt you, I'm sorry.
Tell me if I hurt you, I will send my empathy.
Tell me if I inspired you, I will send my love.

I never do anything without meaning.
Every move I make is symbolic
and has reasoning.
There's an explanation for everything I do - ASK, don't assume.


If I get showered with success, it won't wash away my appreciation for you. It won't cleanse my mind of memories of us. It won't erase who I am. I do not change. I am grounded. I am humble. ASK, don't assume.

If I drown with failure and doubt, it won't wash away my hopes and my dreams. It won't cleanse my mind of possibilities. It won't erase who I am.

ASK, don't assume.

I am the type of person that will give you life advice regardless of who we are or our relationship.
I will take you out to coffee and suggest my favorites on the menu.
I will catch up with you.
I do not care if you are in middle school or if you are on the brink of retirement.
I do not care if we've only talked once.

Because I do care about you.

My entire life people thought I was intimidating, or not approachable, and they are wrong about that.
You've always been wrong about that.



I hold you in my heart and I do not hide it. Sometimes I listen to songs and they remind me of you. I'll see your favorite candy in the grocery store and think about you. And God knows Andrew and I talk about you, too.

I hold you in my heart and I do not hide it. I will never know if you hold me in your heart. I will never know if you think about me too. I will never know if you care. And I need to be okay with that, accept that, and live my life in a forward motion. The past is something we carry with us, but it is not something we live in.

Always,

Maria Elena


"If I'm lost at sea, tell my mother, my father, my sisters, my brother, my friends and my foes, and all my past lovers that I will miss them so. But lord, I had to go."
Summer 2014.