10:39 PM

it's much more than just dopamine
& endorphins

i've always found it fascinating
yet i sit here
watching big bang theory reruns
and drinking diet iced tea
the aspartame can't get to me anymore

and when the stars hit me through the dusty beige window?
they hit my soul and not my mind.
i don't even have a mind anymore.

so i'll dye my hair blonde again
and watch tv like usual
and not care at all
because I never did

i'll say goodbye to concrete and streets
for waves and highways
but my heart is craving my cave & essays
a metaphor, of course
for a word
i will
never
know...

i will be miserable at best
and dream of west coast futures
and reckless pasts of all of us, there.
because I will always miss something that I cannot touch
(It's not mine, but I want it.)

so that must prove to me
the essence
the immortality
the faith

is all about you
and I can't type.

We stand here
as I love you
as you love me

I just want to cry for hours
You're The One Who Knows
/ / / / i will not lose you.